Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
