my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
