I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
