The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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