OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize