It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
