Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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