How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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