Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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