you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
