i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
