We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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