This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
