ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
