So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
PANTIES FOUND
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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