How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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