awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You're like the curious george of whores
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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