I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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