I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
