It's Friday. Sex?
Duck Duck Cougar?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
