When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize