You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
