I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm like, not good at living.
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