I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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