Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
