just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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