I puked a lego.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
