Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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