she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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