Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
