So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
