day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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