so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
