dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize