I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
