I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Houston, we have a squirter
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
