Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
