So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
