I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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