There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You can't special order awesome
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
