Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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