the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize