The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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