That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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