bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
