In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
