Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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