Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
