But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
