Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we're making bets on your personal life
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
