Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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