apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
