Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
