Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
