He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
