Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Randomize
