my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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