i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
