Non-Jews are for practice
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
