Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
