My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
