I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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